Thursday, January 19, 2012

Saying Goodbye (written 9/8/2011)

This morning, my husband and I dropped our English bulldog, Rocky off to be boarded at the vet. We were supposed to go to Disney World for our last vacation before our Disney annual passes expired. The last few vacations we went on, Rocky gave us problems. My sister-in-law usually watches him, but the last two times, he attacked her - viciously. He attacked someone at the pet hotel where we tried to board himy in February. He attacked our friends who tried to watch him for us. This big, wrinkly, mush face was clearly not himself. I gave the vet strict instructions regarding his aggression and the vet assured me he could handle it. However, Rocky was unhappy and he attacked the vet technician and the vet. This was enough for me to cancel our vacation. My husband went and picked up Rocky from the vet and I headed to tonight's many Fashion's Night Out events .
My husband spoke with the vet and they both came to the conclusion that even with everything we have been doing to help Rocky, there is something wrong that we cannot fix. Rocky was put to sleep this afternoon. I did not get to say goodbye to him. I did not get to tell him how even though he makes me so angry when he pushes me or trips me, that he will always be my favorite boy. I did not get to rub the soft spot behind his ears. I love my dogs. They are my children. I hope Rocky went to sleep knowing how much he was loved.
Lola is walking around the house before and I wondered if she knew Rocky was gone. Does she miss him? Will she cry every night when I put her to sleep like she did when she was a puppy and we kept them separated? I hope not. I hope she will be ok. There is a lot of sadness in this house right now and I hope she stays the happy little Frenchie she always was.

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